Reflections on pride after sitting in traffic

I don’t know about anyone else, but the times which my faith is tested the most is on the road. I have very little tolerance for poor drivers, Sunday drivers, rule breakers, rubber-neckers, and people who seemingly have gotten confused between the break pedal and the gas pedal. My muttering and snide comments are a result of pride and arrogance. I honestly believe that I’m the best driver I know and have little tolerance for other people’s mistakes!

This last weekend my wife, my mother-in-law and I went up to Northern California for a funeral and to spend some time with family. Now, I’m a Southern California boy through and through. If you know anything about California, you know that Northern California and Southern California are like two completely different states. True “So. Calers” have no time or regard for what’s happening in the North. Aside from just the natural culture of So. Calers, you have the fact that I am a Dodgers fan and can’t stand the Giants. All of that to say that heading up North was not exactly my idea of a great time (though I was really, really looking forward to seeing family).

So, I drove up North already edgy and testy and nothing even happened…yet. The first night we drove to Vacaville and stayed there. That wasn’t bad. I mean, Vacaville is nothing to get excited about but we had a funeral to go to the next day and it wasn’t our final destination. It was just a stop off. The next day we went to the funeral and then headed to Santa Rosa, which is about an hour and a half away. That’s where it all started.

Traffic. Ugh. Not my favorite thing in the world no matter what part of the country I’m in. But for some reason it was worse in Nor. Cal. I think the thing that boggles my mind is the fact that so many people live up there. I understand traffic in places like Los Angeles and the surrounding areas, but this is Nor. Cal. Nobody really wants to live in Nor. Cal anyway, so why do so many people do it?

Once we arrived in Santa Rosa and subsequently spent the weekend in Sebastopol it wasn’t so bad. But then there was the drive home on Sunday. More traffic. It seemed like it took forever to get through Oakland (home of the hated A’s and Raiders) and I couldn’t wait to get out!

Now I should clarify something. The traffic in Oakland was no where near the traffic on the 405 or the 5 or the 710 or the 91 or the 101 or any of the other So. Cal freeways that run through major metropolises. It’s just the fact that I was in Nor. Cal and couldn’t wait to get out that was so frustrating to me.

It wasn’t long until I realized my pride. And, because of that realization I started thinking about something. All congestion is a result of pride. Think about it. Engineers design freeways to accommodate the number of commuters on a daily basis. Engineers don’t design those freeways to have traffic. They get paid a lot of money to design them to flow smoothly, place the exits far enough apart that allows people time to get over and determine safe speed limits that should make everyone’s commute faster, not slower.

But, because the vast majority of mankind wants things their way we have traffic. Traffic occurs when we are not putting others first. Traffic occurs when we desire to be in front of the other guy, be in the lane someone else is already in, or drive the fastest we possibly can in the far left lane and then switch over three lanes to the right and exit all within ¼ of a mile! Traffic occurs from people driving too slow, thus becoming a hazard. Traffic occurs from people driving too fast. It occurs from lane changes, unauthorized use of the carpool lane, accidents and a number of other things. The majority of traffic can be traced back to selfish pride.

Granted there are the unfortunate events like a flat tire or a stalled car. But, even then do we really need to all slow down and look at the poor, embarrassed person and point and laugh when we drive by?

I realized my pride in getting frustrated at the traffic. But I also realized that traffic itself is a working illustration of the pride that exists in all of us. If we all swallowed our pride we would get where we want to go a lot faster! God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Then and Now

Many of you have asked how I'm doing since my surgery. I'm sorry that I haven't been more faithful in doing updates. I thought I would post a picture that shows you the progress I have made.

This is not a "Before and After" photo for two reasons.

1. This photo was taken about 3 years ago when I was at my highest weight. I was about 40 lbs lighter on the day of my surgery than I was in this pic.

2. I'm not "after" yet! I'm still losing. I would like to lose another 100 pounds.

I Don't Care What You Think About Me!

This is my sermon manuscript from June 14, 2009. I am teaching through 1 Corinthians. This is part 8. I will post the other parts if people are interested.

I. Introduction

We live in a society that puts a lot of weight on what other people think. This is a pattern amongst Christians and non-Christians alike. I want to share an excerpt of a sermon with you that was preached by John Piper back in May, 2000:

Three weeks ago we got word at our church that Ruby Eliason and Laura Edwards had both been killed in Cameroon. Ruby was over 80. Single all her life, she poured it out for one great thing: To make Jesus Christ known among the unreached, the poor, and the sick. Laura was a widow, a medical doctor, pushing 80 years old, and serving at Ruby's side in Cameroon. The brakes failed, the car went over the cliff, and they were both killed instantly. And I asked my people: was that a tragedy? Two lives, driven by one great vision, spent in unheralded service to the perishing poor for the glory of Jesus Christ—two decades after almost all their American counterparts have retired to throw their lives away on trifles in Florida or New Mexico. No. That is not a tragedy. That is a glory.

I tell you what a tragedy is. I'll read to you from Reader's Digest (Feb. 2000, p. 98) what a tragedy is: "Bob and Penny... took early retirement from their jobs in the Northeast five years ago when he was 59 and she was 51. Now they live in Punta Gorda, Florida, where they cruise on their 30 foot trawler, play softball and collect shells." The American Dream: come to the end of your life - your one and only life - and let the last great work before you give an account to your Creator, be "I collected shells. See my shells." THAT is a tragedy. And people today are spending billions of dollars to persuade you to embrace that tragic dream. And I get forty minutes to plead with you: don't buy it.

Don't waste your life. It is so short and so precious. I grew up in a home where my father spent himself as an evangelist to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ to the lost. He had one consuming vision: Preach the gospel. There was a plaque in our kitchen for all my growing up years. Now it hangs in our living room. I have looked at it almost daily for about 48 years. It says, "Only one life, twill soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last."

These are just some examples of how our society is so concerned about what others think about them. The world would say that Ruby and Laura’s fate was a tragedy because those poor women never married and experienced the joy of having a family. The world would say that Bob and Penny were wise, prudent stewards of their money and they earned the right to enjoy their retirement.

Seeking approval of men is a characteristic of many evangelical teachers, as well. They seek to write books and preach sermons that will make them well thought of, not only in the evangelical community, but in the secular community, as well. Books that don’t deal with sin, the cross, or any biblical commands at all for that matter, rather they write books that line up with secular science and medicine. And, aside from a few mentions of God, and if you get a “good” one it may mention Jesus, it would be hard to tell apart the philosophies of these books and ones written by secular authors.

If the Apostle Paul were alive today, I doubt that he would be capable of writing a book that is popular and widely accepted in our society. One of the reasons that I believe this is because the Apostle was so consumed with what pleased God rather than with what pleased men. He was not about to give in to worldly wisdom, in fact, he would rather be considered foolish. Therefore, his writings would not have been very popular today. And, in all honesty, they were not very popular in his day, either.

Let’s take a look at our passage for this morning:

1 Corinthians 3:18-4:5 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. (19) For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their craftiness," (20) and again, "The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile." (21) So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, (22) whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future--all are yours, (23) and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's. (4:1) This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. (2) Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. (3) But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. (4) For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. (5) Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.

In our effort to keep context at the forefront of our minds we must remember that Paul is now in the middle of his closing arguments, if you will, in regards to the issue of divisions. He addressed their misunderstanding of the Gospel and how they were hindering the spreading of said gospel. They had placed the foundation of their faith in the wisdom and eloquence of men. This, Paul said, was a merely human reaction; one that needed to be adjusted to a more godly reaction, namely, recognizing that, while Paul, Peter, Apollos and anyone else may plant or water, it is ultimately God who gives and causes the growth. Paul reminded the Corinthians that it is Jesus Christ who is the foundation of their faith. Therefore, they should not align themselves with a person, but rather they should be building upon the sure and solid foundation—Jesus Christ. Each one is to be vitally concerned about how they are building on the foundation that Paul laid. In probably one of the most shocking statements in the Bible, Paul said that the one who destroys God’s temple by causing division, will themselves be destroyed by God.

II. The proper view of people (3:18-23)

1 Corinthians 3:18-23 Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. (19) For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their craftiness," (20) and again, "The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile." (21) So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, (22) whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future--all are yours, (23) and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's.

Paul was making the argument that much of the division that exists in the church is caused by two things.

1. Self-deception

The phrase “Let no one deceive himself” is a broad warning that includes everyone. We are all capable of self-deception. We deceive ourselves into believing many things. Contextually, Paul is warning the Corinthians about deceiving themselves into thinking they are wise. The problem, however, wasn’t so much in being wise, but it was their standard of wisdom; which brings us to the next thing that Paul said causes divisions.

2. Worldly wisdom

We all think that we are smarter than we really are. The problem is that we put too much weight on worldly wisdom. But as Paul said, the wisdom of this world is folly with God. Paul uses two quotes from the Old Testament. One from Job and one from the Psalms. Worldly wisdom means nothing to God. It is foolishness and futile.

Paul’s point, then, was to be sure that they were not boasting in men. Because the Corinthians have been given the mind of Christ (2:16) all things in regards to godly wisdom belong to the Corinthians, and to us, as well. There is nothing special about Paul’s wisdom, or Apollos’s wisdom, the wisdom they have belongs to the Corinthians, as well.

However, it is important to Paul to point out that while they possess the Corinthians have access to all things they belong to Christ. Christ belongs to God. Again, Paul brings all things back to God. Let’s never forget that.

III. The proper view of teachers (4:1-5)

1 Corinthians 4:1-5 This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. (2) Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. (3) But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. (4) For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. (5) Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.

Paul had been telling the Corinthians over and over for 3+ chapters now not to put their faith in and their trust in men. Don’t be of Peter, Paul, or Apollos. It seems that he anticipated that he had adequately convinced them of the folly of boasting in men and expected them to have a few questions—namely how should they regard Paul, Apollos and Peter? He answers their question in verse 1. They are servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.

It is interesting to note that Paul’s purpose for pointing people to God (even here he is taking the focus off of men and putting it on Christ and God) is not to alleviate him or the other teachers of any burden or responsibility. Notice verse 2. It is REQUIRED of stewards that they be found trustworthy.

Ministers of the gospel have been given a GREAT responsibility! Now, I could make a pretty solid case that we are all called to be ministers of the gospel in one way or another, but I believe contextually Paul is speaking of those who are primarily called to the studying and teaching of the Word. When Paul said, “This is how you should regard us” he is speaking about himself, Apollos and Peter. Those men that were called to be the shepherds and overseers of the flock at Corinth are the ones who have been given this responsibility. So keeping in mind that we are all ministers I will continue to address this issue in the context of modern day pastors and elders.

Pastors and elders have been entrusted with the great and glorious mysteries of almighty God! We are Christ’s servants. That is, we are servants of the One whom ultimately fulfilled and authored the very mysteries that we are stewards of. We belong to Him. It is our responsibility to declare the mysteries and explain the mysteries of God to those that do not fully understand them. Jesus said, “To whom much is given much will be required!” Luke 12:48 But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.

To drive home the point of the weight of this responsibility Paul went on to remind the Corinthians who it is who judges him.

1 Corinthians 4:3-5 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. (4) For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. (5) Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.

Paul, Apollos, Peter and other pastors, teachers, and elders are thankfully not judged by any human court. The problem with human courts are that they are just that…human. Everyone has a different opinion and there is not any one standard of truth and no objective opinion. Paul basically said, “I don’t care what you think about me.” His main concern is that he was going to be judged by God.

I need to take a minute and explain something. When I title a message “I Don’t Care What You Think About Me!” I admittedly am doing that for a little bit of shock value. I am also trying to capture the essence of the passage with any title that I ever come up with. The chances of you remembering every little phrase and word of my sermons are slim, I mean I don’t even remember most of what I say! But if I can come up with a catchy title that sums up the essence of the passage chances are you will remember the main thrust of the passage. Also, when I say, “I don’t care what you think about me” I do not mean that in a humanistic sense. I am not saying that I’m going to do what I want and I don’t care what you think. Also, I don’t mean it in the sense that you cannot or should not try to correct me. I am not above correction or making mistakes. What I mean, and I believe what Paul meant by saying that it was a small thing to be judged by the Corinthians, is that ultimately my destiny does not depend on your opinion of me. My destiny rests on the way I handled my stewardship of the mysteries of God and on how I served my Master, Jesus Christ.

Mainly, the point is that a human court is unable, incapable and unqualified to judge a heavenly trial. The commission given to us is a divine one and one that can only be judged by a divine being. That is why Paul says that he does not even judge himself. He is incapable of passing a proper judgment, as well. He is not aware of anything against him but is not thereby acquitted. Over and over again in Paul’s writings he appealed to a clear conscience. There is something to be said for a clear conscience. But, he also understood that a clear conscience was not enough. You are not acquitted in your heavenly trial because you have a clear conscience.

The reason that a clear conscience is not enough is that there are things hidden by the darkness of our hearts. Look at verse 5:

1 Corinthians 4:5 Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.

Paul said the things that are hidden in darkness are the purposes of the heart. Notice the verse again, “…who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and disclose the purposes of the heart.” We are unable to discern even the things in our own hearts. That is why it is impossible for us to judge even ourselves. Therefore, we are not acquitted by a clear conscience.

Is there anything about the last sentence of verse 5 that strikes you as odd? Paul has just said that wisdom is futile, teachers are mere servants and stewards, humans are not able to judge qualified to judge others, and we are not even qualified to judge ourselves. He has said that on the day the Lord comes He will bring to light the things that are hidden in darkness and disclose the purposes of the heart—and then he writes a sentence that absolutely baffles me. “Then each one will receive his commendation from God.” After all of the negative stuff he said, I would expect a closing sentence to say, “Then each one will receive his condemnation from God.” But Paul said that we will receive a commendation! A reward—not judgment! Seems weird to me, but, it makes me very thankful to God for His grace and His mercy.

God understands the weaknesses and limitations of men. He understands that we are incapable of doing things right. Adam and Eve proved that. And so, ultimately it makes me thankful for that I have been given the mind of Christ. The Holy Spirit that lives in each and everyone of us makes us capable of understanding the mysteries of God and gives us the power and ability to be wise and productive servants of Christ.

Blessed be the God of all comfort

It has almost been 9 months since dad’s death and as the year mark is closing in I’ve been thinking back on how the Lord has provided for us and more specifically, how he’s used us to bless others. My aunt emailed my sister asking her if Ashley had any verses that she could share with a 23 year old friend who just lost her dad too. As I read Ashley’s letter (below) I was continually reminded of 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Hi Aunt Mary!

I'm glad you asked. There were 2 specific passages that completely transformed me during that time. I don't know her situation and I know that mine may be unique in the fact that we had 11 days to pray for God to save my Dad's life. I needed to come to grips with the fact that it might not be God's will to allow my Dad to live and that God's will is absolutely perfect. I happened to be reading through the New Testament at the time and more specifically, 2 Corinthians. Verse 9 literally leapt off of the page. Paul says, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" I was definitely weak and I knew that God could use that for His glory, which is more important. At another time I was listening to music on my ipod in the hospital and a song came on that I had heard before many times about a story that I had heard many times but in that moment, God used it to speak to me. It was about the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Adednego and how they were asked to kneel before a false God and they refused even though they knew they would be killed. A line in the song says "you are able to deliver from the fire of affliction, BUT EVEN IF YOU DON'T, we will burn!" I had never noticed that part of the story before. So, to apply to my situation, I told God that I knew he could heal my Dad with a single word but I understood that it might not be his plan and if He DIDN'T I would still praise him. Another verse that I have found to be very encouraging is Lamentations 3:22-25 "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"

I hope this is helpful. I love you!

Ashley

I've always wondered about this...

Q. Has crystallized honey gone bad?


A. A jar of crystallized honey, though perfectly safe to eat, probably isn’t what you are looking for to sweeten your cup of Earl Grey. Crystallization isn’t an indication that the honey has gone bad. In fact, honey doesn’t have an expiration date. The solidity just means the sweetener is more pure and less processed than the non-crystallized varieties. Some people even prefer it in the solid state because it melts in the mouth more slowly and isn’t as overwhelmingly sweet.

Honey that tends to solidify quickly has a high amount of pollen, which many mass-market makers extract during the filtering process (the result is what is thought of as typical honey). The effect of this processing is a more visually appealing product, says Zeke Freeman, owner of Bee Raw Honey, in New York City. But you lose some of the honey’s flavor and character when the pollen is removed.

If you want your honey runny, set the jar in a pot of water over medium heat until it loosens to a thick consistency.

Before...

Most of you know that Lance won the Humanitarian Award from the oBand Centers and the award was a free lap band procedure! (see the nomination essay in the post below)

Well, Lance had the procedure done today and he's home recovering. We are excited about this tool that will aid him in a more healthy lifestyle. KTLA News followed the procedure all morning and interviewed us pretty extensively-we'll post when it airs.

Here's an official "BEFORE" picture of Lance-we look forward to posting the "AFTERS"!

Humanitarian Award Nomination

I am nominating my husband, Lance Skifter, for the oBand Humanitarian Award. The first night we met I noticed that as our group left the restaurant, he stayed behind to talk to a homeless man. I later found out that Lance bought that man a meal. As I got to know Lance, I saw that this is a pattern in his life. He’s purchased countless meals for people living on the street, he has actually taken new shoes right off his feet and handed them to someone who didn’t have any, and before we moved, he spent a lot of time at the Long Beach Rescue Mission talking to the men about his own journey out of hopelessness.

Most recently, he has become my family’s hero as well. My father had been the pastor of our church for almost 28 years when he suddenly died of a stroke this summer. Lance stepped up to the plate and has had to slow down his schooling and other dreams to take over the position as pastor of Faith Christian Church in Simi Valley, CA. We all miss my dad so much but Lance is compassionate with the church members and has taken over visiting them in the hospital, counseling their families and helping with the church’s work at an orphanage in Uganda, Africa. He also takes my mom out to lunch or breakfast every week and has been a source of strength in this period of deep loneliness for her.

My father’s death has also caused Lance to think more seriously about his heath. He took his blood pressure for the first time after that and it was dangerously high! Since then he has been disciplined with a low-sodium diet, taking his medication and checking his blood pressure regularly. We would like to have children soon and want to be healthier for that; but at 400 lbs, it seems like a long road ahead even with the changes Lance is making. I truly believe he deserves help in this fight and is the best choice for the oBand Humanitarian Award!